Good For What?!

What am I good for?

I'm good for parenting and

For work and for a good time,

But not much else.

I don't make for the best of husbands,

She certainly deserves better.

I don't always go to church

Or visit the in-laws or my own family,

But I do pray for them every day.

I make for a decent enough friend,

When I want to.

I am loyal and loving and as truthful

As I can be. I do my best

With who I am and with what I have.

God and family and friends do come first,

Then if there's anything left, myself.

It's just juggling it all

And finding the right balance.

I tell it like it is as I see it,

Maybe even too much so.

I am patient and I can endure

And I am nothing but love.

Loving me can be hard, it isn't easy,

But loving my grandfathers

Could be difficult also and

The older I get, the more I see myself

Becoming as they are.

I think they're great guys

So I guess I'm good for something?

Empty Shell

Nearly a year now since you've moved

Out to east Texas near Jasper and I

Watch over your house next door to mine.


It's empty, so utterly empty. All your goods

And furniture are still there and

The mail even arrives daily, but you're not.


No more laughter or music or the sounds

Of children in your yard. No more of the

Spirit or soul left, just an empty shell.


You paid your property taxes but not your bills,

So without gas, water, or light, the shell

Is now empty and dark.


I go over and open the windows every now

And then to let out some of the emptiness

And I cut the grass and park my truck there.


At least it looks like some one still lives there.

Sometimes I just go over and sit inside remembering.

I sit in the empty shell and I miss you.

Same Shared Roots

All true faiths and religions

Share the common hallmarks

Of love, compassion, forgiveness,

And self discipline.

Same roots in one spirit.

No matter how else

We may divide ourselves,

We are unavoidably indivisible in God.

Yo, Un Enfermero

I'm a trained, disciplined, dedicated

Experienced, professional, male nurse.

Hard working and rarely calling in sick.

No job too big or small within

My legal scope of practice.

I'm full of compassion and caring.

Am nonjudgemental and inspired by the Blessed Mother Theresa.

Loyal to my patients and peers.

I didn't set out to become a nurse,

No calling answered.

No, I just fell into it.

Nursing found me.

Loyal To A Fault

I'm loyal, maybe too loyal?

Too loyal for my own good,

Almost blind to truth and reality.

Lying to myself even.

But, at least I'm loyal.

Thank You Xavier

You are our father's salvation.

Saving him from himself and his past

As only you could because

No one else was able.

Our father can only love us

The best way he knows how.

Undeniable, truthful, pure love.

Without you, Xavier, Dad would not

Have come full circle.

You have made our father

Complete as a father.

I thank God for you.

Thank you, my baby brother.

Primera Noche

"You're the most giving man

I've ever met." She purred deep and soft

As we made love for the

First time all those

Years ago in San Diego.

How perfect then,

The two of us,

Passionately joined atop her sheets and blankets!

Oh, those early morning hours

In the spring of '89,

On her bedroom floor (no bed yet even!).

We were so young and tangled up in each other.

A romance to good to last!

Ready?

She asks if I'm ready?

Ready? I don't know the

True meaning of the word.

Am I ready? Have I ever truly been

Ready for anything or anyone?

I know less about ready than the

Attitude of "anyone, anything, anywhere, anyhow".

It may not ever be pretty or proper,

But this attitude is more true than,

"Am I ready"?

It may even be better as a result

Of such spontaneity or lack of preparation.

Ready - maybe, maybe not.

We'll see.

Shitting And Pissing!

We're born into this world
Shitting and pissing,
Simple signs of life.
Others lovingly wipe our asses
Until we are able to wipe our own.
Then, before we die,
We're shitting and pissing ourselves
Again and someone must wipe our asses
As we may be unable to.
The circle of our life complete.

Your Coffee, Just right

I don't want any other
Coffee - but your own.
I'm kinda funny like that.
I don't care for anyone else's
Coffee except for the way
You make mine.
Is that so odd?
I'll rarely start the cofffemaker myself
Because I'm sure you'll be home.
I'll prepare a cup of instant instead,
Even if you're home!
I make a great cup of coffee myself,
But I prefer yours.
Is that so strange?
I like my coffee strong, hot, and black,
With maybe just a spoonful of honey;
And you make it just right.

I Love My Job!

Shitty pay, poor work conditions, and
Relentless pain and hardship.
Strange and unusual people to work with,
We do get some real characters in this place.
Isolated and sometimes difficult to get to work
Sites seemingly miles away from real civilization.
Threat of a riot or rape or hostage situation
Always looming over your head - or worse.
Locked up with murderers, rapists, kidnappers,
Robbers, childmolesters, drugdealers, and
Whoever else the law abiding citizens of the
Great state of Texas don't want out and about.
Surrounded by walls, crash gates, steel doors,
Razor wire topped fences sometimes 3 thick!
Unable to open a window in this place
To let in some fresh air and the only
A/C is in medical or the warden's office.
Texas summers sure get hot in here.
We do have heat in the winter - most winters,
And sometimes even the A/C's still running.
Oh! No cell phones, cameras, guns, knives, mace,
Lighters, tobacco, scissors, brass knuckles, cans,
Glass, or any other goodies like that.
It's amazing what you can get used to.
Some new and unique challenges to your nursing practice.
But do look at the up side - the 4 "F's"!
Free food, free parking, no families, and,
For some of us, 15 minutes or so from home!
So what's not to love!

Serching For A Satisfaction

When I'm at home,

I want to be somewhere else

And doing anything else.

When I'm anywhere else,

I just want to get home.

I'm restless inside and out

And want to just fly away

Only to soar home again.

Searching for an unattainable satisfaction

Like an addict jonesing for their next fix.

Eagerly awaiting for tomorrow

Just to finish today.

Yearning for home and anywhere else

So I can get there

So I can yearn for something

And somewhere else.

Polishing Poetry

First thought, right thought.

Second thought wrong?

Thought about some more and

Maybe even second guessed?

Going over it again and again

And polishing it up some.

Then going over it yet again.

How much polish can a poem take?

Setting it aside to go over later.

Maybe much later and then

Maybe not really getting

Back to the same thought.

Hindsight is 20/20,

After some thought,

I think I'll just leave it alone.