Fixing To Turn 50

I find myself
Standing on the
Shore called middle age.

This beach is that place
Where I'm not young anymore
Yet I'm far from old.

Land stretching behind me
Is my life lived, the great
Sea before me is my life to live.

Oh, but that distant horizon
And then what?
What lies beyond?

I look back at my past
And the changes till today,
So many changes.

Sea breezes remind me
Of the changes to come.
I welcome the change.

In the pools of still water
I see my reflection.
Who is that staring back at me?

Is that my father, my grandfathers?
Who is that man contemplating
His life, his self?

I'm about to become 50
So soon, so very soon.
The day is coming.

So much life lived,
So much life to live!
Oh, but for my life!

I'm looking forward,
Looking for tomorrow
And turning 50.

Refusal Of Treatment

I'm trying the best I can
With what I have
And you don't want it.

You don't care
Or give a damn
About anything.

So you want to refuse treatment
Just because you can,
Just because it's your right,
Just because you don't
Want to miss commissary,
The game, or sit in
The holding tank
All day and night.
Whatever.

I'll just do the paperwork;
Worsening of above listed conditions,
New undiagnosed health issues,
Increased pain and suffering,
Death.

Talking With Tio Gilbert

It is what it is,
That's the way it goes.
Don't ask me
Because I don't really know.

Kim, Palm Sunday 2017

It's a bright and
Beautiful Palm Sunday morning.
Brilliant blue sky and
Birds singing on
The terra cotta pot
Bird feeder I made.
My wife makes breakfast
After we've made love
This April morning.

My daughter called
And left a message;
You died early this morning.
I havn't seen you
For some years,
Maybe ten or more?
The last time was
In Crockett, Texas
At the family reunion.

I pray for you
At church later
This morning and
I pray a decade
On my rosary.
You're on my mind all day.
Praying and remembering
You this Palm Sunday
2017.

They're Gone

The trees are gone,
Cut down.
All that's left
Are piles of
Freshly cut thick trunks
And tangles of limbs.
Branches lay scattered
Like funeral wreaths.

For a hundred years,
Maybe more, maybe less;
The trees stood
So majestically.
Now they're gone
And my tears
Fall for the trees.

I weep for
Beauty and majesty
My children will
Not enjoy.
I pray for their future
And for their land
And that they will
Be better stewards
Than their generations before.

Reminded

Each time someone
Codes and dies
I am reminded
How very much I am alive.

I look upon
What remains of them
And am reminded
Of our ultimate end.

After nursing all these years
I can smell when death is near.
Each one who dies and goes
Reminds me I am very much ALIVE!

Juntos

Mi casa,
Tu casa.

Mi cama,
Tu cama.

Mi cuerpo,
Tu cuerpo.

Estamos juntos.

Veteranos

Forever
My brothers and sisters
Because we answered
Our nation's call,
Because we served
Together.

Forever
My brothers and sisters
Not by blood of birth
But by blood spilled
Mixed with our sweat and tears
And our joys and fears.

We're bound by unbreakable bonds
Forged in a different fire and
Tested by shared trials and tribulations.
We've suffered adversities and tragedies
Together and for each other,
Crowning ourselves with our victories.

My brothers and sisters
Together there and then,
My brothers and sisters
Together here and now,
My brothers and sisters
Still serving today!

Tranquilidad De Abuelo

I suffer a fitful slumber
With lots on my mind.

I just need a hug
And reassurance.

In my dreams
My grandfather comes.

He gives me
A great big hug!

Everything is going
To be all right

Finally I sleep
And rest peacefully.

Hindsight

Choosing one path
Instead of an other.

Woulda, coulda,
Shoulda.

But I didn't
Or I wouldn't.

I didn't say yes
Or I didn't say no.

Maybe because I DID
Say yes or no?

I stayed and
I didn't go.

Perhaps because I went
And didn't stay?

I zigged and
Didn't zag.

Or zagged first
When I should have zigged?

Turned left
Instead of right.

Or maybe the
Other way around?

Took the one path
Instead of the other.

Sometimes going back
And a lot of looking back.

Sometimes

Sometimes I stray,
Sometimes I lose my way.
Sometimes the seemingly wrong choices
Have brought me to the right places
And it turned out
All right for the right reasons.

Loving Amy

I will love Amy,
I will hold her.

When she's happy
And full of joy.

When she's sad or mad
Silently suffering inside.

I will love Amy
Even when she doesn't want me to.

I keep loving Amy
Over any distance, any time.

Sunbathing

Cigarette in one hand
And cellphone
In the other.

She suns herself
In a folding chair
Behind her garage.

One brief moment
There to enjoy;
Now she's gone.

Perhaps sensing my
Watching, enjoying
Her show; perhaps not?

Now she's nowhere to be seen
My backyard neighbor
Sunbathing beauty queen.

A Healthy Relationship

Voyeurs enjoy
Watching and
Exhibitionists enjoy
Being watched.

They know it,
Watching the unknowingly watched
And knowingly being watched,
Invited or not.

The thrill, the surprise,
The shock and the awe.
Oh, but for the joys
We'll share!

Together it can be
A healthy relationship,
We watchers and
We the watched.

We need
Each others'
Watching and being watched
To truly thrive.

Backyard Courtyard

A grand courtyard of
Green bamboo
Grows majestically
In our backyard
Crowned by
Royal purple
Morning glories.

Windows

Bigger windows
Would be nice.
Nice floor to ceiling ones
Facing all directions
All around.

Nice big windows
To look out of,
To open wide
Letting in a nice
Spring season breeze.

Nice big windows
To draw back
The shades and
Let  the sunlight
Flood the room.

Nice big windows
To see our world outside
And to let the world
Outside glimpse
Our world within.

Not Enough

So much life I want
To live with you,
So much to see and share.

There aren't enough hours
In the day or weeks or
Months in the year.

So much I want
To do with you,
To be with you.

Proper Burial

When I die bury me
And plant a tree
Atop what's left of me.

Let my empty shell
Feed and nurture
Something sacred for the future.

Hang an old tire swing
And bird feeders and
Wind chimes in my branches.

Find relief in my shade
And contemplate
And write poetry.

Spouse's Day Out

Come on over,
Enjoy the day
Or evening
And see what may.

Just yourself,
No spouses allowed.
Mix and mingle
As if you were single.

We're just friends
Among friends,
Keeping old ones
And making new ones.

If you should decline,
Please pass this invitation
To your spouse.
Let them come as all are welcome.

Communication Is Key!

Hard or soft, fast or slow,
Deep or shallow, neat or sloppy,
Or any combination of the above?
She asks me,
"How do you
Like your blowjobs?"

The Wedding Pictures

The man in
My wedding pictures
Who isn't anymore.
In my divorce
A part of me died,
The part who
Promised, "I do."
And vowed with
All truth, honesty,
And faith; standing
Before God, family,
And friends, EVERYBODY!
Now a different man
Stands in a different
Set of wedding pictures.

Rescued And The Rescuer

I did not go to prison,
My prison came to me.
A self imposed one
Of my own making;
I carried for the
Whole world to see.

You rescued me, releasing me,
Because I could not,
Would not, free myself.
Perhaps, in one way
Or another, we rescued
Each other, ourselves?

Perfectly Blended

That perfect
Unsearched for moment
When I snatch a quick glance
Through the window at work
And take in
The purest blue and
Pink and purple
Of the sunset;
Blended perfectly
At the end of day
And the beginning of night.

Loving Each Other

Can we love, will we love, ourselves
Enough so as to love each other?
We'll have difficult times
Loving each other
If we don't love
Ourselves first.

Welcome!

You have it
Great here!
A bad day here
Is still better than
A good day at
Whichever unit
You were locked up at.
Most certainly better
Than the holding tank
At Hospital Galveston.
Welcome to the
Carole Young Medical Facility!